I would like to wish a happy father’s day to all the men out there taking care of their children. Especially to the men raising children with disabilities. It is not an easy task and we moms applaud you.
Today was a whirl wind from the time that I walked in the door from work. Now, keep in mind that this morning I got out of work at 6 a.m.!
I forgot that I promised my son cookies for school, then there was the meltdown, then calm, then get the kids off to school, try to sleep (which I didn’t get much of!) and then not finding my son after school!
Yup, today was exactly how it sounded. See the video below for the whole day in a nutshell.
Now, I am tired but have to get ready for work (graveyard shift) and do this all again tomorrow. Before I go, I wanted to share this, because even with everything today, my kids are still my world.
I am so excited to share with you my new cleaning supplies!!! I know who get’s all happy about cleaning, right?!?! Well, these products are just awesome and I got so much for free!
I also updated my cover photo’s on all my accounts to my own copyright image. I am really excited about this also. I worked really hard on it, so I hope everyone likes it!
More posts and video’s coming soon, so make sure to subscribe. Also, check out my facebook and youtube page as well. See everyone soon!
Back to work tonight and I am exhausted!!! For those that don’t know, we have 5 kids in the house. I have my two boys and my boyfriend has his 3 kids. Once they all get home, it’s like a circus in my house!
Today the big argument was “he is talking to loud”! Yup, if they only knew how loud they are all time HAHA
These kids argue over the silliest things. What are some things your kids argue over?
Well off to work but more video’s to come this weekend.
So this was my son’s sheet from school today. I just wanted to brag a little about it.
If you read the comments you can see in the morning that he was having a hard time but he turned it around and ended up getting extra points for the rest of the day!!
The school does a point system daily with the kids. On Friday if they have enough points they will get green. Green allows them to have free time during the day to do what they would like.
As long as tomorrow goes well, he will be green for this week!!!! I am really proud of him considering last week he didn’t get green for having a fight with a peer.
Fingers crossed for tomorrow!
Regular Parents vs. Special Needs Parents
Parents, a stranger walks among you. We look like regular parents but we are the hybrid to your standard engine. Our child’s disability altered us, enhanced us. Many words describe us: resilient, creative, protective, emboldened, sympathetic, fierce and determined. We are special needs parents. How do our lives stand apart from your own? Take a look under the hood and see for yourself.
Regular parents soak in the tub when they want to unwind.
Special needs parents consider a bathroom break a luxury.
Regular parents think OT means overtime.
Special needs parents know that OT stands for Occupational Therapy.
Regular parents know the names of all their friends.
Special needs parents have lost touch with most of their friends.
Regular parents tell their kids to wake up and get dressed in the morning. And they do it.
Special needs parents put on battle gear to get our kids ready to start their day.
Regular parents think accommodations refer to hotels.
Special needs parents have memorized the top 20 accommodations for their child.
Regular parents wave goodbye as their kids run off to catch the school bus.
Special needs parents get awesome door-to-door bus service for their child.
Regular parents judge other moms when kids have tantrums in stores.
Special needs parents say to themselves, “Hmm, I sure can relate to that.”
Regular parents complain about driving their kids to sports and recreation classes.
Special needs parents grin and bear the weekly trips to specialists, doctors, and therapists.
Regular parents kids have a teacher.
Special needs parents kids have a team of multiple people and professions.
Regular parents talk about accomplishments.
Special needs parents talk about skills, as in play skills, conversation skills, life skills, social skills and vocational skills.
Regular parents relax with their kids during the summer.
Special needs parents start their second job as home teachers, therapists and skills coaches.
Regular parents hope their child finds a good career.
Special needs parents are hopeful someone gives our child the chance to work.
Regular parents enjoy reading the latest best selling book.
Special needs parents should receive an honorary degree for all the disability books they’ve read.
Regular parents go out for dinner and a movie with their spouse every month.
Special needs parents have a date night with their spouse every…wait, what decade is this?
Regular parents complain their kids won’t eat their vegetables.
Special needs parents are so desperate we consider chicken nuggets to be a legitimate meat product and throw in ketchup as a vegetable.
Regular parents kids go to play groups.
Special needs parents kids go to therapy groups.
Regular parents meet for a ladies/mens night out.
Special needs parents get together at support groups and forums.
Regular parents have medical claim forms that fit in one file folder.
Special needs parents will tell you a small forest was cut down so we could receive our claims.
Regular parents have time to cook a full dinner every evening.
Special needs parents will never admit how many times we’ve picked up fast food.
My autism makes me do things and I don’t understand why,
I sometimes hurt other children and sometimes make them cry.
I don’t always understand the words you say,
with the sounds buzzing round my brain,
the tiny noises you can’t hear,
I hear again and again and again!
I need the rules to be followed and I don’t like it when they’re not.
I forget I’m not an adult and I tell you off …a lot!
Sometimes when you come near me I think you are invading my space.
I may have an extreme reaction because I feel you’re in my face!
I like to be first at everything and may push you in the queue.
I do not mean to be rude it’s just something that I do.
I like to be the leader and take control of how we play.
I may get cross when I find that you will not play my way.
I don’t like getting into trouble and I want to be your friend.
The unkind things I sometimes do are because my brain won’t mend.
You may see me spin, hand flapping and body shaking till I go red.
It’s just my way of coping with the lack of balance in my head.
I get fixated on a topic and will speak of it all day.
I do not mean to bore you but it’s important for me to say.
So next time you see a meltdown, don’t look and laugh and stare.
The child is not always naughty.
Please be AUTISM AWARE.
Dear family and friends,
I understand that we will be visiting each other for some get-togethers this year. Sometimes these visits can be very hard for me, but here is some information that might help our visit to be more successful.
Sometimes I may seem rude and abrupt or silly and out of control, but it is only because I have to try so hard to understand people and at the same time, make myself understood. People with autism have different abilities. Some may not speak, some will write beautiful poetry. Others are whizzes in math (Albert Einstein was thought to be autistic), or may have difficulty making friends. We are ALL different and need various degrees of support.
Sometimes when I am touched unexpectedly, it might feel painful and make me want to run away. I get easily frustrated, too. Being with lots of other people is like standing next to a moving freight train and trying to decide how and when to jump aboard. I feel frightened and confused a lot of the time. This is why I need to have things the same as much as possible. Once I learn how things happen, I can get by OK. But if something, anything, changes then I have to relearn the situation all over again! It is very hard.
When you try to talk to me, I often can’t understand what you say because there is a lot of distraction around. I have to concentrate very hard to hear and understand one thing at a time. You might think I am ignoring you – I am not. Rather, I am hearing everything and not knowing what is most important to respond to.
Get-togethers are exceptionally hard because there are so many different people, places and things going on that are out of my ordinary realm. This may be fun and adventurous for most people, but for me, it’s very hard work and can be extremely stressful. I often have to get away from all the commotion to calm down. It would be great if I had a private place set up to where I could retreat every time I go to get-togethers.
If I cannot sit at the meal table, do not think I am misbehaved or my parents have no control over me. Sitting in one place for even five minutes is often impossible for me. I feel so antsy and overwhelmed by all the smells, sounds, and people – I just have to get up and move about. Please don’t hold up your meal for me – go on without me, and my parents will handle the situation the best way they know how.
Eating in general is hard for me. If you understand that autism is a sensory processing disorder, it’s no wonder eating is a problem! Think of all the senses involved with eating. Sight, smell, taste, touch AND all the complicated mechanics that are involved. Chewing and swallowing is something that a lot of people with autism have trouble with. I am not picky – I literally cannot eat certain foods as my sensory system and/or oral motor coordination are impaired.
Don’t be disappointed if Mom hasn’t dressed me in the best clothes there are. It’s because she knows how much stiff and frilly clothes drive me buggy! I have to feel comfortable in my clothes or I will just be miserable. When I go to someone else’s house, I may appear crabby. Things have to be done in ways I am familiar with or else I might get confused and frustrated. It doesn’t mean you have to change the way you are doing things – just please be patient with me, and understanding of how I have to cope. Mom and Dad have no control over how my autism makes me feel inside. People with autism often have little things that they do to help themselves feel more comfortable. The grown-ups call it “self-regulation” or “stimming.” I might rock, hum, flick my fingers, tap a string, or any number of different things. I am not trying to be disruptive or weird. Again, I am doing what I have to do for my brain to adapt to your world. Sometimes I cannot stop myself from talking, singing, laughing, or doing an activity I enjoy. The grown-ups call this “perseverating” which is kinda like self-regulation or stimming. I do this only because I have found something to occupy myself that makes me feel comfortable. Perseverating behaviors are good to a certain degree because they help me calm down.
Please be respectful to my Mom and Dad if they let me “stim” for a while as they know me best and what helps to calm me. Remember that my Mom and Dad have to watch me much more closely than the average child. This is for my own safety, and preservation of your possessions. It hurts my parents’ feelings to be criticized for being over-protective, or condemned for not watching me close enough. They are human and have been given an assignment intended for saints. My parents are good people and need your support and not rude remarks.
Gatherings are filled with sights, sounds, and smells. The average household is turned into a busy, frantic, festive place. Remember that this may be fun for you, but it’s very hard work for me to conform. If I fall apart or act out in a way that you consider socially inappropriate, please remember that I don’t possess the neurological system that is required to follow some social rules. I am a unique person – an interesting person. I will find my place at these celebrations that is comfortable for us all, as long as you’ll try to view the world through my eyes! ♥
Here are some things you will not find in your research on autism:
You will not learn how this diagnosis will affect your marriage or other members of your family. You will not be told how it may fundamentally alter your perceptions of what is “normal,” how it may change your view of human beings, how it can force you to question small talk and why we behave the way we do, how it will transform your outlook on life, how it will change you, how your life and everything you assumed to be true, is no longer what you thought.
Having a child with autism may cause you to feel things you never dreamed possible. You may know moments of joy and moments of despair you could not have imagined. You may find yourself going to untold lengths in the hope of helping your child. You may feel distracted, unable to concentrate. Your work and career may suffer. You may learn what it is to be sleep deprived. You will come to know what it means to feel desperation. You will know sorrow in a way no one can prepare you for. You will know happiness in a way no one can prepare you for. Sometimes you may feel both sorrow and happiness within the same day, within the same hour, within the same minute.
You may spend money you do not have on yet another treatment, yet another doctor, yet another specialist, yet another therapy, yet another intervention, all the while rationalizing that if it helps, it will all be worth it. You may contemplate doing things you would have scoffed at before your child was diagnosed. You may find yourself trying things that defy logic and have no medical basis. You may listen to implausible, anecdotal stories and think — we will try that next. You may dream your child is speaking to you in full, complex, beautifully self aware and revealing sentences. You may wake from those dreams believing for a few seconds they were real and not a dream. You will pray that you might dream again. You will welcome sleep, as you never believed possible. You may ache with sadness because your child is crying and in pain and your presence brings them no solace. That ache may become unbearable when your child hits themselves in the face, bites their own arm or hand, punches their own legs or stomach. You may question every maternal instinct you have.
You may feel ecstasy from being hugged, unprompted. You may feel the exquisite joy from having your child reach for you, ask for you or look at you. You may know the joy that comes from seeing your child work so hard at something that does not come easily to them. You may celebrate when they use the bathroom unaided, drink from a cup, sleep for more than a few hours without waking you, try a new food or simply acknowledge your presence. You may feel a gratitude you would not have believed possible. You may cry from happiness when they say a word, any word, even if you are the only person who can understand what the word is. You will know what it is to appreciate commonplace things — eye contact, the correct use of the word “me,” “you” and “I,” physical contact initiated by your child, a word, any word spoken or a smile.
You will feel a fierce love for your child that seems to come from a place that is not of this world. You will know what it is to love unconditionally and you will understand what that really means.
– Ariane Zurcher